This is how you get ABS! Right?? And doesn’t he look happy…
I think maybe there are some odd characters at everyone’s gym, but mine in particular, located in the heart of downtown Toronto, is especially prone to letting weirdos join, many of whom are drawn to engaging me in conversation, much to the benefit of this blog (which I feel like, thanks to guys “Dude”, pretty much writes itself these days).
Me: (Doing chin ups)
Dude: (Approaches me, as if to ask to work in with me. Smiles creepily until I acknowledge his presence)
Me: Uhh hey, you need to work in?
Dude: No, I was just admiring what you were doing.
Me: Oh. Thanks… So what are you working on?
Dude: Uhh, my abs.
Me: (inward face-palm) Ok. Cool. What’s your rationale behind that?
Dude: My what?
Me: Why are you working on your abs?
Dude: Uh, I dunno. I have a lot of energy to burn I guess.
Me: Oh ok, well at least you know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Enjoy the rest of your workout.
Dude looks semi-confused. He smiles, then proceeds to the chest press machine while I finish my set of chin ups. He does a set, sits there for a while, watching me creepily as I perform an intense set of eccentric chins to near failure. He then approaches me again.
Dude: Hey wanna go work on abs with me? (motions to the designated “ab” area of our gym, where one will find the most useless machines ever invented)
Me: No thanks, that’s not really my style. But knock yourself out.
Dude: Oh, ok… See ya later.
I feel only a little bad about this conversation. I don’t think he picked up on my sarcasm, and that’s mostly why I feel bad. The rest of that feeling is attributed to the pity I feel for this poor soul who has not yet seen the light. I’m sure he’ll be “working on his abs” until one day his spine is crushed by the weighted abdominal crunch machine.
But I suppose I shouldn’t be so rough on the guy. At least he’s using his “extra energy” on something he values to be positive on his health. I just wish he’d use it on something more productive, like improving his squat strength. I wish dude and his abs the best on their quest for happiness.